when it comes to relationships, and i'm talking(writing) from experience here, never give advice especially when they have not broken up already. before you know it they will be back together and you will look stupid. you might even find it hard to face either of them esp. if ur advice was negative against the said partner. tell he to talk it out with him. i it doesn't work out, the talk thing, then you can advice on how to kill the relationship. you can even propose a replacement.

that is just my point of view and i've been there before trust me.

I agree with Bomseh, you can only wait for what develops and be there for her. As someone once adviced me "anything you say can and will be used against you" never mind that she is your cousin, she will resent anything that you say against the man especially if they don't break up. So just be there for her and assure her that any decision she takes, you will support her.

I got this advice from Men are from mars and from the rules.

Every once in a while (cave)men get overwhelmed with this whole relationship thing and need to retreat to ther cave.. This especially happens after they have been spending sooo much tim with the girl or the girl has overwhelmed them with things like lovey dovey poetry and fluffy toys and mushy cards and "talks" about the relationship. The worst things a woman can do during these times that he retreats are
1. Keep calling him to ask 'whats wrong" "why are you not calling me/"
2. Say in a serious tone 'We have to talk!"
3.Folow him around offerng to cook him dinner, wash his clothes, just doing nice things for him which rewards his bad behaviour and encourage him to do it
more

what they should do?
1. Give him space all the way to china. don't call him, don't ask him whats wrong, just act like everythings alright with the world. When he decides to call be sweet and nice, don't screech at him for not calling or whatever.. after 10 mins say very happiy, I am so busy, I have to go, talk to you later!

2.When he takes this time out do the same yourself, organise to go out with girlfriends, maybe book a weekend or week's trip to go visit your friend in another part of the country, go for a pedicure or manicure, go buy shoes, take a long bath.. just have some 'ME' time and some 'Girl' time. Don't waste your time waiting for his phonecall.

The book says, men are like rubber bands, they can only pull away so far before they snap back to where they came from.

@Bomser & half 'n' half
Sure..I had not thought of it that way...sure that advice might lead me into trouble..Thanks for the enlightment.
@Kenyangal
That's a new one & how true men are like rubber bands, they can only pull away so far before they snap back to where they came from...Thanks for the advice will sure pass em on
@Eddie
Sure from da look of things she's still interested..Am trying talk to her but all I can get is they were fine as acouple until the guy "changed"
@Adhis-toto
To be aloof & clinical might as Kenyangal suggested da answer....Thanks for droppin by!

hi klara, u got sme nice stuff here. b sure i'll be visitin often. however, since ur from kenya, perhaps u & other interested bloggers can quickly help me. there's this masai chick that i want 2 marry. so am learning all i can abt love & marriage among e masai of kenya b4 i can propose. ma email is dcountryboi@yahoo.com
many thnx in advance.

@Countryboy
Thanks!That massai chick where did u get her? Bt seriously I have nothing much to offer...
@Eddie
Ofcourse I followed the advices & was very careful with my worlds..They are to have that "talk"
I can dare say am a good mediator bt not when it's a couple fighting.
Thanks alot...

heh, she needs to ask him what is up. roho safi, cos if she plans to spend the rest of her life with him she should be able to tell him her concerns. there is nothing worse than commiting yourself to a relationship and then find out neither of you are feeling the situation then all the drama follows. ama maybe that's just me cos i'm more the straigh foward kinda person.

thanks for stopping by my part of blog land

i wish i could help but im a 22 year old virgin who gets slapped by girls. the guy is probably having some problems at work or something.

it will go away and then they will live happily ever after.

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

@Spicebear
U are most welcome..Atleast I know anotha straight forward person!
@Vinicio
A virgin???Huh!
But thanks for that..U brotha's atleast understand each other..

Klara, you have taken really a long time...

But anyway am stressed...i lost entire blog and had to start of another one .....

....but that is what humans are ...mistake makers...

Now Klara, however busy you may be but please you can psot only one line...for example""Hi guyd, am busy but just wanted to pass by and say Hi""

I will get back soon!!!

As Bomseh and Half 'n half said, one treads on dangerous territory when advocating for a break up. I once tried to hook up a buddy with a new man when she wanted to get out of her relationship, but somehow that relationship survived and thrived. I had doubts at the time, but I'm glad I didn't trash talk the guy coz he turned out to be sawa. Even though it seems obvious to everyone else, your cousin will see things differently. I bet if another guy was paying attention to her the boyfie would suddenly be more excited about his chic. Dudes thrive on competition. When you think you've figured them out, they'll do something weird.

@eddie
Stop being fuuny!!was sorry about ur blog bt am happy u are back!!Cheers!!
@girl next door
Yeah! That competion line works! Bt why do men need that 2 realise they have a good thing going......Thanks 4 droppin by!!

I must confess that after all these years I still smile when I see women making the mistake of forgetting how simpe men are. For example, the advice from the Men are from Mars book (read above) works ONLY because men are extremly simple. Give me ANY situation with a man and I will break the man's side of the story in a few simple sentences. Email me any question/situation you want and I will reply with an answer/explanation. I don't promise you will like it. But I do promise that it will be simple.

Xavier
xavierpjr@gmail.com

Huh! O.k, am savin that email address..Thanks for the offer!

Hi Klara thanx for checking out my blog. I see you got loads of mafuns.


About ya problem here, most dudes are or act poets and say those sweet little nothings that a gal needs to hear and they will be Van Goghs of relationships/love before they have had sex with the target chic. After it has happened (especially if he didnt like it), that is usually the end of the poet in the dude. He becomes very distant. At this moment there is little the gal can do. If I were the gal, I'd learn from the experience and become strong in spirit and making right choices.

LOL .. totally with you on the 'behavioral changes' bit ... you couldna put it better ...
Have a good day.

I also think maybe he was going through stuff - at work maybe. But if they are friends, they should be able to sit down and chat. I don't see why not.